He’s not doing so well. He has a swollen prostate which is blocking his bladder. He needs surgery on that. He can’t walk. They aren’t sure why. He’s gone from being independent to practically totally dependent on others.
Frankly guys, I’m falling apart and scared to visit. We are supposed to go Sunday, but I don’t want to cry and upset him. Talking to him on the phone is one thing and I struggle to keep it together then.
Fact is, eventually, I’m going to be alone. Pop will eventually pass from this pancreatic cancer. He is the one stable, always kind family member. Then, after he goes, Nanny will fall apart. Then, she too will pass. My mom has already passed. My dad is M. I. A. I’m not sure if he’s dead or on a bender.
All this to say, yall… I’m hurting. We are hurting. Please pray for Pop, my family, David, and me.
I’m sorry this is so down. I needed to get it off my chest. I appreciate you guys.
We went to see Pop. When we came in the door, Nanny and Pop were both asleep on the couch. Pop was bald. Not just bald Pop bald. I’m talking no hair. Just his beard.
I started crying. Then I sucked it up because I didn’t want them to hear me cry.
Eventually, the dog started barking which woke them up.
We stayed for several hours. Talked. Ate pizza. Watched the race. It was nice. It was like everything was normal.
Pop is about to do his third round of chemo. Please send him Love.
Yesterday, David and I went to my Nanny and Pop’s. It was a very nice time. We had breakfast together. We sat and shared stories. We even talked politics and everyone still had all their smiles on at the end. 😂
Then, it became time to leave. Pop was tired. He was jaundiced. Other than that, one would never know he was sick. Nanny started talking about when they are gone. And, well, I burst into tears. I can’t talk about it with them. Not death. I just can’t.
After I got it together, we gave hugs and told each other we love them. Then, Dave and I left. Nanny and Pop took a nap. They’re tired. And we love them.
I think I’ll go see them again soon. He starts chemo Friday. Please keep praying. Pray for his quality of life. Pray for both of their strength. Thank you.
This week on Instagram I’m honoring them. All the pictures this week are from Nanny and Pop’s home. Send them some love, please.